Final Days and Final Thoughts

WARNING: I drastically went over my self-imposed word limit of 750 words. Reader discretion is advised.

So our last few days in Portland seemed slightly anti-climatic. This had been a summer of planned out activities and adventures and that kept us busy almost every waking hour. And so when we got to our final week, everything mellowed out; there was a lot less structure the program. While this wasn’t a bad thing, it just felt like we had been frantic for seven weeks and then went full halt in the last one. Actually, we probably could have used the break and just be given time to passively absorb the city around us. However, I did feel like I was coasting through a lot of the week on autopilot. This isn’t to suggest that I wasn’t hard at work at Metro. Actually, I think I was most productive those last few days. But the whole program just seemed to be ending, but ending in slow motion (as epitomized by our seven “final goodbyes” with Kellyn).

I’m sure that last paragraph read like a bloody rollercoaster of confusion and lost sense of purpose without anything concrete to hang your hat on. I hate that too. Could I just get to the point? Oh right.

This sharp change was probably helpful in generating a feeling of sadness over leaving Portland. I’m not sure if this feeling was universal among the Duke Engagers, but I definitely felt it when I was packing last Wednesday and it didn’t quite fade until I was in Dallas for my connection. While I am sad to be leaving, I really don’t feel any regret or remorse regarding my time in the City of Bridges. If I didn’t get around to seeing or doing something, it was probably because we were off busy doing something else that was on the Portland Bucket List.

We had a lovely final Duke Engage dinner at the Farm Café on Friday. It was a great dinner, where everyone seemed to find something on the menu that they loved. Laughter abound, we had a good time. A fitting end to such a great program.

Harrison had the great idea to rush across the river to Washington Park to catch the sunset against Mt. St. Helen’s. How romantic for a platonic group of eight. Rushing north to catch the MAX and then about half to Washington Park, we realized we were probably going to miss the sunset. Which cause our group to split in half. I went with Ting-Ting and Harrison to see what remained of the beautiful sky from on top of the Western Hills. We had a nice continuation of our reflections on our time in Portland as well as a series of tangents. By the way, if the world is ending, find Harrison. He’ll know what to do.

We did, in fact, miss the sunset. But we were still able to see St. Helen’s. I’m not sure why, but the beauty of that hilltop outlook was humbling. The soft glow of the city lights as they took to their nighttime posts, Mt. St. Helen’s cast in the tender blush of a fading sun. It was magical. I think the three of us right then and there vowed to find a way back to the Pacific Northwest.

Upon our return, a good half-week’s worth of planning culminated in Brad’s surprise birthday party. There was a delicious Chocolate Chiffon cake, which we almost set on fire with the candles. (He’s old. Really old). And there were heartfelt cards and presents selected with the utmost care. Hopefully this proves that we actually did pay attention to him.

Saturday was our day of ‘lasts.’ Last trip to the Saturday Market where we failed to procure a tie-dye onesie for Brad. Last time randomly bumping into Kellyn and Nate. (I’ve officially decided that Portland is a actually small town, based on how often I bump into people I know). Last time browsing (or in Polly’s case, aggressively shopping) at a consignment store and not feeling weird about it. Last time strolling through the stacks at Powell’s City of Books. Last (and first) time taking the aerial tram to OHSU. Last time intentionally bumping into Kellyn and Nate.

For dinner, the group split up. Brad had dinner with his sister for the last time in Portland. I met up with FACES delegate Tayler Cox and company for a lovely last vegan dinner in Portland. The rest of the group had a nice meal together. After everyone made it back to PSU, Brad surprised us with his sister’s amazing culinary skills: homemade blackberry ice cream with Triple-Sec chocolate sauce. Simply amazing and sinfully decadent. Kudos Kim! After being left in a food coma, we all went back to frantically weighing and reweighing our luggage in preparation for early departures on Sunday.

Four or five hours later, I was up saying goodbye/happy birthday to Brad as he caught his ungodly early flight back to Colorado. I was fortunate to get a cab to the airport. Sunday was the Bridge Pedal, an event that closes every bridge in Portland in at least one direction for a race that zigzags back and forth across town. This meant about 90% of cab drivers wouldn’t be working today because its simply too annoying to deal with the traffic closures. (There are only 500 taxis in Portland to begin with). A nice zippy drive that involved us going 75 blocks without hitting a red light and was only slightly out of the way and boom, I was at PDX really early. Like over two hours early. But it was nice to know there weren’t going to be any shenanigans that delayed me from getting home. After checking my 49.4 lbs and 49.8 lbs bags, I made a quick beeline for the gate.  About an hours and something later, Mark made it to the gate. He took the MAX, bless his heart. While I probably could have managed on the MAX, I definitely would have been stressed beyond belief.

The flight home was fairly uneventful except for a gorgeous ascent to our cruising altitude. Amazing shots of Mounts St. Helen’s Adams, Ranier, and Hood. Major news: I made it all the way home without breaking the vegetarianism thing! I would like to applaud Ryann Child who also made it the entire time without breaking and Kellyn, Harrison and Emily for the emotional support as committed vegetarians already. And who knew they served veggie burgers in Texas? Mind = blown.  I’m back to eating meat at home. (Brad/Ting-Ting, you can stop worrying now).  But I think I like the vegetarianism thing a lot and I feel a lot healthier. I’m probably stick to my semi-vegetarianism, but commit to a more flexitarian approach.

Okay, so I think this is one of my longest posts. Sorry. Quit reading whenever you want to. This is more cathartic than anything.

So looking back on my time in Portland, I’d have to say this trip was better than I could have imagined.  Sure, the internship rocked. Sure, we traveled a lot. But I think what really defines this program is it’s participants. A friend reminded me today of a pre-orientation program we attended before freshman year and she said that if you ran that program exactly the same 100 times, you’d have 100 complete different programs because of the people who participate. I think that ‘s true of any randomly assembled program, but it rings especially true for Duke Engage Portland.

Sure, some of us didn’t exactly uphold the whole vegetarian thing. Some of us were a tad more loquacious than we should have been. Some of us didn’t like all the “nature” and “weekend hikes.” Some of us we’re stressed. If some of relaxed any further, our DNA would have uncoiled. Some of us we’re probably frustrated by how new some of our experiences were for some people. Some of us probably could have filed for restraining orders over the number of tickle fights over the course of the summer. And some one should probably be extra pissed about the money they are still owed.

But with all this potential for drama, we didn’t have it. Or at least not too much of it. And I’m really appreciative of that. Because those eight awesome people didn’t get stuck in the little things, I was able to get to know how truly awesome they are.

So here’s to late nights watching True Blood, a common hatred of mosquitoes, anything and everything flugelhorn, the “modern” American family, watermelon infanticide, smeyesing, your personal paparazzo, sexy librarians, logic games, yoga by starlight, spontaneous playground parties, endless games of “Never Have I Ever,” glamour shots, sequin shorts, being a housewife, speaking Asian, second and third butts, evacuating 10 storey buildings, MAX creepers, gauged ears, most prepared for life awards, and everything vampire.

But it wasn’t just the Duke kids who made Portland special. We all volunteered with a wonderful group of native Portlanders who help us learn just how quirky and how friendly this city could be. Their generosity and hilarious antics more than made us feel happy, it made us feel welcome.  And I can’t stop raving about the ladies of the Nature in Neighborhoods team at Metro. They were amazing from day one and was a pleasure and an honor to call them my colleagues.

And what about Portland? Well, it ain’t too shabby of a town if you ask me. It seems unfair how beautiful the surround landscape is. We could see some of the prettiest mountains in the world from our apartment windows. There were trees everywhere! And water too! The Willamette (wil-LAM-ette, still have to remind myself) is picturesque, especially with the seven bridges that cross it. And all of this on my daily commute on the awesome public transit system, which was able to haul us everywhere without too much trouble.

But more than that, Portland is soo indescribably Portland that you can’t help but appreciate it. The almost cult-like citywide abhorrence of corporatism that is almost ironic given the number of Starbucks within a four block radius of where I lived and worked. The love of unique Portland events like the Saturday Market, First Thursday, and Last Thursday and independent things like farmers markets, indie theaters and consignment shops. And the bike culture! Bikes are everywhere and everyone loves them (except for motorists). I’ve never seen so many people modify their bike to represent their weird idiosyncrasies and that so many people would share in such a passion that events like Zoobombing could become a citywide phenomenon. Sure there’s a lot more homeless people than I would like to deal with on a daily basis and the MAX needs to operate past 11pm and things could be cheaper, but that’s all stuff I can learn to deal with if I haven’t already.

And if anything, I think I’m a lot more environmentally-conscience now. I look at trees in a whole different light thanks to my internship. (And I get sad when I see new clear-cut developments. *tear*). I actively think about what can be recycled. I force the fam to buy organic. I will admit that I was excited to get back behind the wheel of my car. However I’m already tired of my daily commute up to research at Duke until school starts and can’t wait to have a bike on campus. And it is nice to not be logging my every action into an excel spreadsheet just to see what my carbon footprint is.

So all in all, this has been a fantastic summer. Not perfect, but pretty damn close. It went so fast, but in the end, it feels like I left for Portland eons ago. So the only thing left to figure out is when I’m going back. And when to have our next Duke Engage reunion. Hopefully both won’t be too far off in the future.

Yours always,

JNel

PS: Flickr Collection For My Entire Time in Portland